Got the Munchies? Watch & Read This First!
I know, I know, it's Friday and I'm not supposed to be working, writing, offering advice, and commentary. But I was chilling watching some YouTube videos, and this disturbing video caught my attention. The title alone captivated my interest, considering I had a yen for a juicy cheeseburger with a side of fries—something I haven’t done in years. While I may be a slacker, I rarely dine out, preferring to prepare my meals. However
much to my chagrin, my appetite was dashed after being enlightened to the fact that lunch at an American fast-food outlet of any brand could cause a catastrophic gastronomic disaster in my under shorts. So, in the interest of the public good, I, Slack Slacker, decided to forgo a Friday of lazy leisure to sound the alarm for those planning to order a corporate "Frankenstein Burger" smothered in onions and lies.
Double mystery meat patties that would never pass inspection in most countries will be served up to American customers, salivating for a juicy double-decker WTF sandwich to be washed down with super-sized Coke loaded with enough sugar to add inches to the waist, ass, and thighs. Add fries cooked in boiling grease and so heavily salted that your blood pressure will spike higher than your insulin levels from that Coke you guzzled.
The eight establishments mentioned in this video are as follows: Jack in the Box (Jack in the Crotch) was the joke my college mates called it, primarily due to the sludge that this chain used in their tacos. Wendy’s, supposedly fresh, never frozen, is a lie debunked many times over, especially on the East Coast. Oh yeah, Wendy’s is also known for treating its senior employees like it treats their beef. Like Shit!
Next up, Checkers and Rally’s were inspected and found to have rodent and insect infestations. Not exactly Yummy! But wait, there’s more. This chain was also cited for broken coolers and raw meat sweating under heat lamps. Still hungry? BTW, these franchises also exploit their employees. So, if you complain about the service, these disgruntled workers might serve you a little special secret sauce on your replacement order with a smile.
Despite what’s been revealed above, there are always those who are still a glutton for more. So, let's have Uber Eats deliver something stomach-churning from Carls Jr. and Hardee’s. Their motto is " go big, go bold, go greasy. And Greasy is right. The oil that their fries are cooked in has been used for over a week.
According to this video, in the South and Midwest, inspectors found deep fryers filled with thick, blackened oil that was chemically unstable. Not only is this disgusting, but it becomes a delivery system for acrylamide, an acrylamydocarcinogen linked to nerve damage and cancer, and hazardous for aging immune systems. Think about it, the fries are this bad, you know the meat must suck!
Now, in the interest of time, I’m going to cut the shit chat and give you the name of the other mentioned burger joint offenders so I can GTFO of Dodge and press my chill mode button. Burger King (Protein Putty Patties), McDonald’s (Quarter Pounder is only 51% beef), and the rest is binders, water retainers, and fillers. Bon Appétit, suckers.
White Castle: Sliders is a marketing name for a precooked flash-frozen micro burger covered with dehydrated onion flakes, with holes punched in it to increase profit margins. Sonic: In short, it Sucks all around. Burgers taste like rubberized hockey pucks. Enough said, other than stay away from the high-fructose shakes. Your blood glucose monitor will spike so high you’ll go into shock just reading it.
In my humble opinion, and commentary today is simple. Don’t eat that shit!
Lee Bines (aka) Slack Slacker 😊
BTW, have you seen the latest photos of Trump's big, fat, unhealthy ass? He's known to "Scarf Down" Big Macs by the garbage bag loads.
