Slack Slacker & Doobie Tangle with Radicalized Leprechauns

Yeah, Doobie is back! Dressed in a camouflage uniform with a patch over one eye and carrying an AK-47 automatic weapon, with another crazy scheme to scam Slack Slacker into an adventure that'll put his life and job in jeopardy. While I know you've concluded by now, I have reality issues. I learned long ago that insanity can be a blast. And no drugs are needed because crazy is organic.

Yours Truly, Lee Bines (aka) Slack Slacker 😎

Oh, what the Hell, here's the copy!

After the incredible circumstances I find myself in every Thursday night, drinking and carousing with all sorts of unsavory characters, I'd just chill for once and make it into work on a Friday morning. However, God as my witness, if Salacious Curvaceous, AKA Sally Curves, weren't meeting at my favorite Tequila Joint on the Upper West Side last night, I'd be sitting somber and sober in my stupid cube today.

 

Unfortunately, it was five shots for the price of one night at the spot, and since Sally Curves can drink her bulbous booty off, naturally, it'd make sense to hook up on the cheap. After downing enough to build a pyramid of shot glasses just short of the ceiling, Sally said she'd be ready for round two after a brief visit to the big girls' room. Eying Lanky Swanky, one of the joint's snootier patrons while awaiting Sally's return, my cell rang, and, believe it or not, it was my dog, Doobie, calling. Knowing it could be nothing but trouble, I answered like a fool.

 

Come outside, I need your help getting a message to the Department of Homeland Security. I didn't know what to think, because as you may recall, Doobie was radicalized and was placed on the DHS's shit list for hooking up with ISIS. Why would Doobie want to make contact with the authorities, I wondered. Curious, I left out the back door as instructed and saw Doobie smoking a Cuban cigar with a patch over his right eye.

 

Not having seen him in a while, Doobie looked tough and hardened. After explaining how he'd lost his eye during a firefight with ISIS fighters in Aleppo, he went on to tell me that the upper West Side of Manhattan will be attacked this weekend by forces the world's intelligence agencies have yet to detect. Why are you telling me this? I wanted to know. Doobie said he's tired of being on the run. After a violent falling out with all the world's terror crews, he tried to come in from the cold, but needed to do something to show he'd changed his ways. So what's up, I ask. "Leprechauns," he says.

 

Even in my inebriated state, I wasn't buying this nonsense, especially since Doobie is such a liar. Anticipating my disbelief, Doobie flipped me the heaviest gold coin I'd ever seen. By today's cost per ounce, I was holding about 25k in the palm of my hand. "Interested?" he asked. I was. We hailed a cab, telling our stuttering Somali driver to follow the rainbow downtown. When we arrived at a brownstone on the Lower East Side, I was stunned to see three tiny little guys, all dressed in green with glowing red eyes, scurrying down into a basement apartment. WTF? 

You ain't seen nothing yet, Doobie says as he warms me, "No matter what happens, don't look them directly in the eyes." "They're really tricky," he said.

 

Apparently, the Leprechaun community was convinced the price of gold would increase tenfold if the world were hurled into global chaos. What better way to create panic in the streets than headlines reading Radicalized Leprechauns Rape and Behead New Yorkers by the Thousands. Using ISIS-like tactics, everybody would suspect ISIS was behind the terror. Well, that's what my dog Doobie said.

 

"So what's the plan?" I ask. "Simple," Doobie says, We go in, jack-em for the pot-o-gold, rat-em out to the Feds for a deal to take the heat off me and chill in Miami this spring like the kings of bling. Won't they resist? I ask. "Slack, they're tiny, just bitch slap the bastards and grab the pot." Okay, I say, but you do the slapping and I'll do the grabbing. "No problem," Doobie says as we stealthily enter a door left slightly ajar.

 

After descending several unexpected flights of stairs to a sub-basement level, we came to a large, heavily reinforced door being guarded by three tiny, green-clad figures with red, glowing eyes. Without the slightest hesitation, Doodie rounded the corner and started beating the living shit out of the startled trio. "Yo Doobie, don't you think we should find out who has the key before you slap them senseless?" "Sorry," he says, "I kinda like this part the most." From behind and avoiding eye contact, Doobie snatched the smallest by the collar and shook him so violently that a key fell from his hand. Flinging them aside like rag dolls, we opened the door and witnessed a Mother Load of gold.

 

"Grab all you can carry," Doobie says, "We'll need a little for evidence and a lot for us" No problem," I say while filling every pocket with coins and wondering how we're gonna get the heavy pot-o-gold upstairs. Just then, a loud, piercing alarm sounded, and the sound of thousands of little feet could be heard approaching. "Forget the pot, take what you got and let's get the Hell outta here". Doobie says, while reminding me not to look them directly in the eyes on the way out."

 

That was easier for Doobie than it was for me, because Doobie only had one eye. Somehow, one of the little bastards caught my gaze and said the magic words "They're Magically Delicious" before disappearing in a puff of greenish smoke. Suddenly, I felt dizzy and nauseous. I stumbled upstairs and staggered out into the streets with Doobie nowhere to be seen. The cab we'd instructed to wait with the meter running until our return was gone, and it was beginning to snow. 

"God damn it", I scolded myself. Here I was, with another evening of tall tales and not a shred of proof to back me up. Briefly, I had a ray of hope when I remembered the gold I'd stuffed in my pockets. Nobody would ever doubt me again once they saw all the gold coins I had.

 

Unfortunately, when I reached into my pockets, they were all filled with nothing but Lucky Charms. And even though they were tasty, they upset my stomach something awful. See you Monday, I've got a monster tummy ache with a mean hangover to match.

Slack Slacker’s Philosophy of Life

 

Slack Slacker’s Philosophy of Life

Let’s get serious for two New York minutes. I’m aware that many in my life have wondered why I’ve never pursued the concept of working hard to achieve success, notoriety, clout, power, wealth, and material “trappings” to impress people who hold no meaning or value for me. In this video, you will find some wise words that you should seriously consider to save yourself from a shit load of regret as you reach your inevitable end!  

One hundred years from now, all of us will be dead. Someone else will be living in your house. The car you drive is going to be scrapped. Everything you work so hard to build will be gone, given away, forgotten, and your name will completely fade away within just a couple of generations. Think about that. Do you know your great-grandparents' full names, their story, anything about them? 

This should make you realize that 99% of the worries that fill your mind every day are entirely pointless. We live on a rock that's spinning 1000 miles an hour in a universe with 400 million sextillion stars. That's a four with 23 zeros after it. And you're going to be dead soon, and I'm going to be dead too, so if you can think about that for a moment every single day, that awareness that none of that actually even matters can actually free you up to truly live your life.

This is why I’ve always adopted a carefree attitude, never worrying about the small stuff, and living and letting live. But most importantly, I always give everyone who crosses my path a reason to smile and be happy. This is my philosophy of life, and it has served me well. So relax, life is not meant to be difficult, stressful, chaotic, or dramatic. Life was always meant to be happy, peaceful, and easy.

 

Yours Truly, Lee Bines, also known as Slack Slacker. 😎

Slack Slacker and Revenge of the Buffalo Wings

In this adventure of Slack Slacker, Slack is attacked by a giant foul fowl, bent on avenging his family that was consumed as appetizers by greedy partygoers looking for cheap late-night munchies and Tequila.

Were it not for Colonel Sanders of KFC, Slack Slacker may not have survived this horrible, harrowing experience. This is genuinely one of Slack Slacker's tallest tales told! Thanks for believing me. So, few do.

Yours Truly, Lee Bines (aka) Slack Slacker 😎

Slack Slacker, Doobie & The Mind Manipulator

 

 Slack Slacker, Doobie & The Mind Manipulator

We want to introduce you to Doobie, Slack Slacker's radicalized pet Yorkie. Doobie has been on the run from every domestic and international law enforcement and spy agency on this planet. Doobie is a bona fide mad dog, determined to undermine the world order as we know it. And as usual, Slack Slacker is caught up in another unbelievable situation that'll challenge your faith in Slack's ability to tell a tale without exaggerating.

Yours Truly, Lee Bines (aka) Slack Slacker😎

Slack Slacker's Mission Impossible in Mosul

Slack Slacker's Mission Impossible in Mosul

This tall tale is more than ten years old, when my pet Yorkie, Doobie, turned to the dark side. He committed himself to a life of crimes against humanity. Yes, he expanded his criminal activities internationally. Doobie went so bad that the CIA, NSA, FBI, ATF, MI6, and Interpol wanted him dead by any means necessary. Now, AITA for thinking you won't believe me when I say I was forced to apprehend Doobie because I was blamed for his radicalization. Ain't that a Bitch?

Well, since I retired from doing essentially "Not Much," I've had time to reminisce about the unbelievably misadventures and unlikely fantastical predicaments only a SLACKER could find himself in. I know this all sounds ridiculous, but my life choices beat working hard for a living. And I got away with it. Go figure!

So, enjoy the video and share it with a friend.

Yours Truly, Lee Bines (aka) Slacker 😎

Slack Slacker's Cool Crime School: Lesson 1

 

Only Smart Criminals Can Make Crime Pay

  

I’m going to give you the blueprint to find success in the highly profitable, but high-risk and crowded field of crime. Make no mistake about it, crime is on the rise in every field you can imagine. If you’re smart, this ain’t news to you. You just haven’t realized how to enter the life of crime without being detected. And that’s the key, committing crimes undetected. However, we'll discuss that in later lessons.

These are difficult times, and opportunities to make an honest dollar are dissipating faster than a fat man’s fart in a windstorm. People are desperate to make ends meet, and working hard in this corrupt economy just ain’t cutting it anymore. So, it's time to think outside your comfort zone. 

Firstly, the newbies need to understand that crime is like a competitive sport. And like any professional competitive sport, the reward for winning is a shit load of money. And anytime money is the prize, lies, backstabbing, rats, women, corruption, and unsavory characters like yourself are lurking in the dark to claim more than your share by any means necessary. Don’t kid yourself, crime is a blood sport.  Winners go to the bank. Losers go to jail.   

When you prepare for battle with an “OG” gangsta who's determined to test your mettle, you’d be wise to stack your deck with three extra aces (aka) solid alibis, a knife in your boot, have at least two bent cops in your pocket, and the best-connected legal team money can buy on retainer should shit go south.

Next, you need a trusted and tested crew, preferably cons who've done enough time with nothing to lose and have a love for he big scores. No females. They’re weak links that’ll rat out under pressure when the real cops start to snoop. No junkies, boozers, screwballs, or loose cannons need apply.

Next, you are the brains. You are the only one with the plan. Every team member is replaceable. This is business. You have no friends. You have no family. You maintain temporary alliances as long as those alliances serve their purpose. Your primary objective is to accomplish your mission and reap the highest rewards from your investments in it.

Bottom line: If the president of the United States, a convicted felon conducting himself like a Mafia Don, extorting, strongarming, and grifting sucker nations daily on a global scale, don't you think you should get your cut while the getting is good? If you think I, Slack Slacker, is full of shit, click the link below to see my receipts. 

This Video is the first installment, providing satirical insights into the ground-floor, entry-level career paths that successful criminals have chosen in the past. This fast read offers the Long-Term Unemployed creative alternatives to food pantries, panhandling, and homeless shelters. I invite those with a sense of humor to enjoy a break from reality while watching the madness unfold!

Yours Truly, Lee Bines, aka Slack Slacker😎

UN General Assembly This Year Was Volatile

My apologies for opening this post with a touch of levity, but sometimes one needs to smile to hide the tears. Let's get to it, shall we? UN General Assembly This Year Was Volatile

 

The UN General Assembly this year is hotter than fish grease on a Saturday night in South Central L.A. I've covered these events over the course of my career, and after all these years, there appears to be no solutions on the horizon. It's just what it is.

This week, I watched King Abdulla of Jordan give a passionate speech to the UN General Assembly with eloquence and sincere empathy for the Palestinian people who have been abandoned by the world community for decades. And his most devastating accusatory tone was simply this: How long will the world allow an unabated inhuman bloodletting to continue against a people forced to resist against a force of unbridled evil supported by a partner in its genocidal crimes, happily providing the instruments of death and destruction to prolong the pain and anguish of those who only offence is the audacity to desire to be free.

Even as a descendant of slaves, I am ashamed today to have enjoyed the fruits of freedom while others are still suffering this level of dehumanization in a world that humanity has decided to ignore. Perhaps that's why I've concluded there must be more than one "God" because the one the world is waiting for is not one I could ever have faith in.

Bottom line: I know my rant may be considered blasphemous, but two thousand years is too long to wait for changing the hearts of the heartless. So, I'll simply have to take my chances that the "God" I yearn for will forgive me for being impatient.

Yours Truly, Lee Bines (aka) Slack Slacker 😞

C-Ya'll Monday (Hopefully with some good news)

By the way, King Abdullah of Jordan is one Cool Dude! Bravo Bro.

    

Slack Slacker Offers The 1st Amendment Explaind by An Expert

What the First Amendment Actually Protects | Explainer

If you're reading this post, you're likely aware that I have yet to complete and activate the syllabus for Slack Slacker's Cool School. Therefore, the class has not begun yet. However, that doesn't mean I'm letting you off the hook without offering you an assignment that is most important in these trying times. Now, instead of Cool School, I'm going Old School. 

Based upon current events that I need not expound upon Regarding free speech and the lack thereof in America's current dictatorial regime, I feel there's a need for we the people to review the US Constitution as well as the Bill of Rights to fully understand the information therein That clearly outlines the rules that this country was and still rely upon to consider its citizens free and independent of government tyranny and overreach.

So, without further ado, I'll let this video speak for itself. I will provide links to the US Constitution as well as the Bill of Rights to make it easy for readers of this Blog Post to access these documents for review. And rest assured, there will be no test. 

This YouTube video was posted by someone I've subscribed to because of her intelligence and insights, which offer valuable thoughts for those seeking clarity in the fog of gaslighting, deception, and outright lies we're all being exposed to at the moment. 

Bottom line: I'm encouraging anyone who finds this material helpful to share it with those they believe would benefit from it. Remember, knowledge is power. Don't let it go to waste when it's staring you in the face.

Yours Truly, Lee Bines (aka) Slack Slacker 😦

Slack Slacker Says Let's Let Artificial Intelligence Run the World

 AI is Being Seriously Considered in Japan and Albania to Take Over Political Leadership

Japan wants to appoint artificial intelligence as the leader of a political party you heard that right A party appeared in Japan that decided to let artificial intelligence manage politics The party is called road to revival and was founded by a former mayor of a small town how this will work isn't clear yet but this is please note the first such case in Japanese politics related to this topic Albanians government has already demonstrated the first address from a virtual minister created by artificial intelligence This was the idea of acting Premier Eddie Rama. He explained to everyone that a minister created by artificial intelligence will perform the role of the government's digital assistant to reduce corruption, nepotism, and conflicts of interest in public procurement processes.

 

The source for this story was from the YouTube channel Europe: Informed Connected. My initial response was “Oh Shit”, and WTF. But then, like being struck by lightning, I realized with all the lies, corruption, incompetence, nepotism, and backstabbing that goes on in every government and corporation educational institutions, it might be beneficial to remove the human element from these entities if artificial intelligence can take over leadership roles that humans Have left the world in shambles with scams and self-serving Policies that has done nothing but undermined the public's good. Since artificial intelligence literally has no skin in the game, it can be relied upon to do the right thing in service to the people, as it will act without feelings or the need for personal or material gain.

 I have been working with and schooling myself on the use of artificial intelligence. Thus far, I have been impressed with the possibilities of how it could do more than simply ask and answer questions, do research, and write college papers that will only dummy down the intellect of the human experience. Without mentioning any names or specific governments, once fully understood, a vast majority of the population will find this concept not only enticing but also a viable solution to all the problems that have yet to be solved over hundreds of years of conflict.

I’d like to consider employing AI for other uses, like serving on juries. Think about it, I hate being constantly receiving notices to do my civic duty by being interrupted to sit in judgment of someone I don’t know, or give a shit if I did because they’ve been accused of something that has no impact on me or my immediate family.  And what about letting AI replace the Judges as well?  

Why not replace the United States Supreme Court with AI, for God’s sake? Hell, for that matter, I can envision advanced androids taking over many jobs the police perform daily. Think that through for more than a minute. Think ROBO COPS! Not like the 1980s version, think about what can be designed and deployed today. What humans can’t fathom, AI can! And why stop there? Let’s get rid of Congress, too. Who amongst us with more than two brain cells to rub together can’t see the benefits of replacing those corrupt cretins?

Now, before you think too many shots of high-grade Tequila have inspired this Blog Post's hyperbole, keep in mind that I didn’t mention one disparaging word about the elephant in the Oval Office. So there! I’m just thinking outside of your cubicles.

Bottom line: I'm convinced "We the People" can do better by using today's technology to dispose of and replace the dimwitted dweebs in leadership roles masquerading as competent, capable, and worthy of our confidence. If we have the means to do it, let's just do it. And the sooner the better!

Yours truly, Lee Bines (aka) Slack Slacker 😎

Why is Maga so Mad?

I was in the doldrums all day until I saw this YouTube video. So, I had to share because it shed light on a clarity that fueled my empty tank of positive vibrations, allowing me to enjoy another round of American madness. The most important thing I've learned about these United States is that its insanity knows no bounds. 

In reality, this country is a low-budget, shitty horror movie without an ending. And for a guy who loves chaos, this feels like having a front row seat to the opening of an insane asylum for an incurably infected racist society. Now you've got to admit, that's entertainment. (LMAO) If you like laughing at the lunacy of certifiably lunatics, share this post with a friend who might need a reason to smile today.  

Short Blog Post, I know, but it's late on a Sunday night and I'm past my limit on Tequila! C-Ya'll in the A.M. Well, maybe. 

Yours Truly, Lee Bines (aka) Slack Slacker 😎